Points
Behaviour
Fire types seek relationships where they can share and be open. This enables them to feel joy and love. When it stops they feel over-exposed and hurt.
The hurt they feel comes from their response to being over-exposed. They tend to shut down or close down their heart and it is this response that creates the hurt. They can become very defensive, particularly when someone is touching on a hurt.
By closing down they actually lock in the hurt. It tends to fester and they can become bitter. This can come out as sarcasm and a general lack of joy. They may use laughter or humour to mask their hurt. They are quick witted and can turn the conversation away from topics that touch on their hurt.
Where the feelings of vulnerability and overexposure are extreme, they may feel shame.
The closing down of their heart brings on boredom and a craving for stimulation. This stimulation can come in the form of drugs, parties or anything that is exciting. It ultimately leaves them feeling a sense of lack, because elation is short lived and not grounding.
In harmony they are spontaneous and joyful. They are the sort of person that naturally makes you smile. Their own smile can be infectious.
When they close their heart they lose that spontaneity their face can become deadpan. When this happens their facial expressiveness diminishes, particularly the capacity for their smile ‘to reach their eyes’. In neurological terms their social nervous system is toned down. This makes it difficult for other people to really ‘get them’ and they often then feel misunderstood.
When they are shut down like this they tend to lose their awareness of social cues – making their socialisation clunky and at times inappropriate. This is the opposite of what they are like in harmony – their innate openness ensuring their interactions are intuitively appropriate for the situation.
Fire types naturally are commanding and can dominate a room of people. Fire is warm and can be inviting if they are open hearted. They can also try to dominate others in order to be loved. In disharmony it can also go the other way – they may submit in order to be loved.
The motivation for either is a need to share their heart with someone.
Where they crave love they can have a series of relationships where they feel they lose themselves in the relationship. They try to hang onto the partner because they feel they need that love.
Solutions
The key for fire is openness: the ability to open the heart and freely express themselves. To be able to do this they need to come to terms with vulnerability, realising vulnerability is necessary for openness.
As they open their heart the hurt that has been locked in will dissipate and they will begin to be more spontaneous and joyful. Joy is the feeling that comes when we freely express our hearts. It is a feeling that is grounded in us being ourselves.
Opening the heart will also increase their facial expression. The face tends to soften and others will respond to this, finding it easier to understand and connect with them.
In essence by opening to the heart and following it, the fire type becomes empowered to be and express themselves. This ensures they submit to their heart rather than others.
Pattern
The trigram for fire has one yin line between two yang lines which symbolises darkness (yin) within light (yang). The yin relates to being receptive, the yang relates to illuminating reality. So the trigram relates to being receptive to the illumination that comes from being in touch with spirit. Our spirit resides in our heart, and our heart knows the truth of life.
When we shine our awareness on our heart we know the truth.
Being receptive to the truth in our heart is not always easily. We may not want to accept changes, events or tragedies in our life. When this occurs we may look to distract our mind from the reality of life. We may seek activities that engender elation – parties, drugs, and outward success. In the process we throw ourselves further from our centre.
We may try to close down our awareness of what is in our heart. When we close ourselves off from our heart we also dim our perceptions of the reality of life. Our life may feel like we are walking around in the dark and not being able to see clearly. When we grope around in the dark it is very hard to do what is right for us. Without the insight of the heart we are unable to act appropriately – with propriety. We are unable to see reality, to express our inner beauty. Our life will lack spontaneity and joy.
The most common reason they close down their heart is in response to feeling overexposed and hurt. Hurt is the feeling that is engendered by closing the heart. We project the hurt onto others – feeling they wounded us – but in reality its our response to an outside trigger (closing down) that leads to the hurt.
So fire is all about whether we open our heart and express what is in our heart. Signs of a closed heart are boredom, bitterness, and lack of facial expression (particularly around the eyes).
An open heart requires a person to be yielding – not have an agenda. Openness results in a state where people share themselves with others – giving and receiving equally. Its unconditional. This state is vulnerable and exposed. They need to be comfortable with moving into this vulnerable state. These days many people struggle with yielding, not realising that a yielding state is a powerful state. When people push, others push back.
When people yield others come closer. Its possible to have a greater impact by yielding than by pushing.
Lesson
The key to fire is to open the heart. Expressing the heart provides the foundation for joy and for sharing truly with others. Open hearted relationships requires a person to be equally open to receiving as well as giving.
The lesson is to remain open and receptive to the insights of our heart. Our heart can provide illumination from our spirit so that our life can be an expression of our spirit. When we cling to our spirit our life is full of joy and beauty.