FCEL - Inner Child Work Process
The 'inner child' generally denotes the child like aspect of our psyche. Many forms of psychology work with the inner child and try to heal the inner child.
For the purposes of our work the inner child can also refer to the original self, the spontaneous open-hearted self inside. This would be the freely expressive right brain (heart) led self. I commonly use inner child work as a method to help a client feel comfortable with their inner self. Inner child processes enable us to consciously change how we relate to ourself. By engaging the child archetype we can often engage our caring, connecting and bonding more effectively, enabling us to begin to care for, connect and bond with ourselves.
Much of our implicit memory and subconscious programming comes from our early childhood and our relationship with our mother and father. Much of our later behaviour results from decisions taken as an infant or in early childhood to behave in certain ways in order to evoke specific responses from our care-givers.
One of the ironies of life is that we commonly end up treating our inner self the same way we perceived our parents treated us as a kid. For example, if we felt that our parents didn't love us or pay us attention we may decide that we will not be like that for our kids. We thus dedicate our adult life to our kids, ignoring our inner self. In ensuring we display love to our kids we forget to pay attention and give love to our inner self. In essence we treat our inner self as our parents were perceived to do when we were a kid.
It is very helpful for clients to recognise their behaviour towards their inner self is mimicking their parents behaviour towards them as a child. It often evokes one of those critical realisation moments that can drive major change.
Inner child work can evoke deep emotional responses and so should be done with care. Always ask the client whether they want to improve their relationship with their inner self and talk to them about the process before undertaking it.
Inner Child Connection Process
Take three long slow deep breaths.
I would like you to imagine a house, it does not need to be a house that you have lived in, just one that you imagine. The house is symbolic of you.
Around the house will be a fence, which is symbolic of your boundaries with the external world. The fence may be high, and difficult to see through, or low and easy to see through, it may project an image that is different to what is inside; or something different.
There is a garden between the fence and the house that is symbolic of the joy and spontaneity in your life.
In the house there is a large area denoted to [primary focus or activity in life].
The kitchen area reflects the time and effort you put into your family life.
Somewhere in the house is a little girl [or boy] that has been left by themselves for a long time, possibly in the attic or in the cellar or in some other room. It would be good if you could go through the house and find the room, and if locked take away the lock, open the door, go over and open the windows and let some fresh air in.
It would be good if you can go over to the little girl [boy], connect with her [him], maybe hold her [his] hand, give her [him] a hug, and look into her [his] eyes. Her [his] soul shines out of her [his] eyes, the same soul that has been staring at you in the mirror all your life.
You may want comfort her [him], allow her [him] to talk to you about how she [he] is feeling. You may wish to take her [him] outside to play in the sunshine. Playing together and enjoying the time together.